I READ THE SUNDAY INKY ON TUESDAY SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO ON SUNDAY

Considering how crowded the Philadelphia mayoral race is gonna be down the homestretch in '08, thank the maker that the Inky is "endeavoring" to "include all major mayoral candidates" in their Sunday Influences column. In fact, we're thinking of casting our primary vote solely on how the candidates handle themselves under the inquisitive stare of the Influences braintrust.

To which, John Dougherty sets the bar really, REALLY low. Roll the highlights:

• He's currently reading Michael Smerconish's Muzzled
• Provides "Philadelphia Magazine" as an answer to not one but TWO questions!
• Thinks living in Philadelphia is scarier than any Stephen King novel
• Somehow manages to equate Who Moved My Cheese? with the Bible
• Still considers John DeBella his "main man"

...and for the grand finale...

• "I like Taylor Hicks this year. He sings like Joe Cocker and is the great hope of all us gray-haired guys!"

This guy has to be from the "great " Northeast, right?!?

On the plus side, he did attend the recent Hall & Oates concert at the Tower. Props doled where applicable.