AMEN

GENUFLECT: ALL HAIL ZAIUS!

RELATED: There is No Fool Like an April Fool (With Sprinkles)

GENUFLECT: IF A BUTT CAN BE SUBTLE, IS THERE A NEED FOR THE WORD "ASS"

The President's energy plan should be considered incomplete without it. The stimulas package laughable without provisions to equip each man, woman and child with a three-year supply (which, as per guidelines, equates to six pairs per). My "do I want to f with that" appeal to my wife, following monthly hookups with Eskimo's Handsome Boy Chilli...shall we say, dayglow palatable

The magic of Subtle Butt, via Thrillist - the new daily e-feed which makes the embarrassment that is my DailyCandy subscription almost obsolete.

Almost.

GENUFLECT

Of course, the upside to tomorrow is obvious, but as I relayed to Dick Diesel in '00, "the ascendency of Bush will undoubtedly bring about the demise of boy bands." The quotes here establish sentiment. In much the same, the longshot of McCain, if indeed "Dewey Defeats Truman", would undoubtedly bring about the end of the Republican Party.

Republican President George W. Bush has not been a conservative at all, either in domestic policy or in foreign policy. He invaded Iraq on the basis of abstract theory, the very thing Burke warned against. Bush aimed to turn Iraq into a democracy, "a beacon of liberty in the Middle East," as he explained in a radio address in April 2006.

I do not recall any "conservative" publication mentioning those now memorable words "Sunni," "Shia," or "Kurds." Burke would have been appalled at the blindness to history and to social facts that characterized the writing of those so-called conservatives.

Obama did understand. In his now famous 2002 speech, while he was still a state senator in Illinois, he said: “I know that a successful war against Iraq will require a US occupation of undetermined length, of undetermined cost, with undetermined consequences. I know that an invasion of Iraq without a clear rationale and without international support will fan the flames of the Middle East, and encourage the worst, rather than the best, impulses of the Arab world, and strengthen the recruitment arm of al Qaeda. I'm not opposed to all wars. I'm opposed to dumb wars.”

Burke would have agreed entirely, and admired the cogency of so few words. And one thing I know is that both Nixon and Reagan would have agreed. Both were prudential and successful conservatives. But all the organs of the conservative movement followed Bush over the cliff — as did John McCain.

Whew, the conservative intelligensia is so over the elephant, ready to leave it's steaming doo in Palin's creamy white hands. And here I thought I'd have to reprogram my DVR for an Obama presidency. Their seemingly eternal squirm, endless entertainment.